Im feeling a bit better actually, Im starting to feel like Im not some dust particle floating in the wind (EMMOOO) of course this feeling didnt come till 9 hrs after my crying moment. I have so much sadness from our situation, when I just need to Suck it up and take it like a Man! Yes 4 months is torture, but there literally is nothing we can do. The idea still hurts, but im trying as hard as I can to make it better; starting...now. Actually procrastination takes a part, sooo in reality starting in 30min. Actually probably the morning. Im a realist trying to become my old optimistic self. 
" I love you and forever more. 
Especially when your standing by my front door
Yes our situation is hard at times
But you keep me from committing any crimes
I am filled with Joy when I gaze at you
Thank God for skype, I dont know what I would do
Your my one & only
who keeps me from feeling lonely
And that is why I gave my heart to you."
 
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